It's very pretty, James. I couldn't have done better myself.
Oh, thank you, Farnon.
Yes, you students can learn a lot from watching us professionals at work.
-(LAUGHS) -Come on. Let's get him on a blanket.
That's it.
He wants to see you.
-"He", Mrs Hall? -Mr Farnon.
-He wants to see both of you. -What does he want?
He says he's got something to say, and it won't wait.
-Now what? -I don't know.
Mind you...
Siegfried has been in one of those silent, uncommunicative mood all morning.
That means he's brooding.
You haven't been up to something, have you?
I don't know. Have I?
We'd better find out, hadn't we?
SIEGFRIED: Oh, there you are.
-What's wrong, Siegfried? -Wrong. Everything is wrong.
Look at all this!
Mess, confusion and chaos!
Well, it's got to stop.
Well, don't look at me. You're in charge of the paperwork around here.
Oh, yes. We all remember the bloody awful shambles
you made of taking care of the bills last month.
Are we still on about that, are we?
No, no, no. There's no sense in raking up the past grievances.
Well, you brought the subject up.
Well, the point is, you're never going to be asked to do it again.
In fact, none of us will ever have to do it again.
We're going to have a secretary.
-A secretary? -Yes!
A sound, dedicated expert who's going to sort out the mess you lot make
at the business end of things.
And you have already chosen one?
Yes, I have. Her name's Miss Harbottle. I consider her to be perfect.
She's comes highly recommended from Green and Molton's of Bradford.
They say she's a model of efficiency.
She was that company's secretary, no less.
-Is she young? -Certainly not!
The last thing we want around here is some flighty, young piece,
batting her eyelashes at everyone all the time.
Why not? Provided she can do the work.
If you think I'm going to have an attractive young woman around
with you in this house, you're out of your mind.
-You'd never leave her alone. -I'm no worse than you.
It's you we're talking about, not me!
When do we meet her, Siegfried?
Tomorrow. She's coming to inspect the office.
-So, I expect you two to give her your full cooperation. -(DOG WHINES)
I have no doubt that she'll soon have this sinking ship on an even keel.
-Shh! -I beg your pardon?
-What's that? -(DOG WHINING)
God, what the hell is it?
There's an awful noise coming from surgery.
Of course, the dog! Must be coming out of his aesthetic.
Oh, that's all right, Mrs Hall, we'll deal with it.
Come on, James, we're going to see if it's all right.
(WHINING CONTINUES)
That always gives me the creeps.
-I've seen this before. -(DOG WHINING)
General aesthetic does affect some dogs like this.
Could be perfectly straightforward.
On the other hand, it could be
the onset of a much more complex reaction.
We just have to wait and see.
Is there anything we can do?
No, just keep a careful watch.
What a racket!
Can't leave it alone. Somebody will have to be with it all the time.
Well, I can't. I've got to take the car to the Alderson Farm today.
Nor can I.
Got a hell of a list this afternoon.
Tristan!
I've got a job for you!
(CAR HORN HONKS)
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
Hello? Anyone home?
WOMAN: Just a minute!
Hello.
Hello...
I'm sorry I couldn't let you in.
My hands were covered in flour.
Well, that's all right.
My name's Herriot, James Herriot.
Oh, Siegfried Farnon's new assistant!
Oh, I've heard all about you.
You're the one who said Mr Handshaw's cow would never walk again, aren't you?
Bad news travels fast, I see.
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
No, idle gossip doesn't offend me the slightest.
You should be pleased.
That little incident will keep Mr Handshaw happy for weeks.
(CHUCKLES)
Is Mr Alderson about?
I understand he has a sick calf.
Yes, but my father and the men are out in the fields.
-Can you wait a minute? -Of course.
I'll just see to the dough and then we'll be off.
Oh, I'm Helen Alderson, by the way.
I was on the bus the day you arrived at Darrowby.
The calf is in one of the hill pastures.
Look, you can see it from here.
I'll take your word for it. (CHUCKLES)
We're in for a little walk, I'm afraid.
Oh, I don't mind.
I don't mind in the least.
Poor little thing.
Misses his mother.
It's all right, old fella, it's all right.
It's all right. Easy, easy.
How did it happen?
Fell down the slope, chasing after his mum.
Is anything broken?
A clean fracture of the metacarpus.
He should do well with a plaster on it.
Could I have some water, please?
-Yes, of course. -Thank you.
All right, old fella.
I'll try not to hurt you. That's it.
(WATER RUNNING)
Thank you.
Have you been a vet long, Mr Herriot?
Not long, but don't worry...
I'm sure I know enough to fix this little fellow.
Oh, dear.
Have I said the wrong thing?
No, not at all.
I wasn't doubting your ability.
-I was just interested, that's all. -(CHUCKLES)
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound prickly.
It's my fault.
-Would you hold his head please, Miss Alderson? -Yes, of course.
Easy, easy.
Right, here we go.
Sorry if it's hurting, old fella.
(COW MOOS)
HELEN: It's his mother. She's been hanging around ever since the accident.
She can't bear to be separated from him.
-She won't be much longer! -(COW MOOING)
Come on, old thing.
There!
It's marvellous to see a sick animal recover.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
I'll come back in a couple of weeks and take his plaster off.
JAMES: What's that mountain over there?
HELEN: That's Hescott Fell.
And beyond it, Eddleton.
And the three to the right are Wedderfell, Colver and Senner.
You make them sound like old friends.
I've known them all my life, Mr Herriot.
You're lucky to live here.
But I don't think you need me to tell you.
A lot of people find it too bare and wild, especially in winter.
It almost seems to frighten them. But I love it.
Watch your step, Mr Herriot!
I'd much rather you called me James, Miss Alderson.
Only if you agree to call me Helen!
-Agreed! -(BOTH LAUGH)
Keep an eye on the calf until the fracture heals,
and don't let him run around too much.
Yes, I will.
Well...
-That's about it, then. -Good.
I'll look forward to your next visit.
Thank you for coming, James.
Yes, well, goodbye.
Helen.
Goodbye, James.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(DOG WHINING LOUDLY)
How's it going, Tris?
(GASPS)
God help us, James, don't ever do that again!
Nearly killed me, you did!
Any sign of it coming to?
No, and don't waste your sympathy on him either
Yowling apart, he's as happy as a sandboy in front of that fire.
-He looks healthy enough. -But what about me?
My nerves are shot to hell listening to that infernal noise.
-You'll survive. -I mean it, James.
Much more of it and you'll have to give me a shot, too.
(DOG WHINING LOUDLY)
That smells marvellous, Mrs Hall.
Never mind food.
It's what you were doing to that poor, dumb animal in there that worries me.
It's hardly dumb, is it, Mrs Hall?
Call yourselves vets and you still let that poor brute suffer.
He's in no pain, Mrs Hall, I assure you.
Morning, everyone.
-Come on, boys. -(DOGS BARK)
-(DOG WHINES) -Still at it, I hear.
Have you seen if it's all right, James?
Yes, the side effects have faded.
Now, it's just a question of waiting for it to come to.
-Hello, Mrs Hall. I'm here. -Aye.
In that case, someone will have to stay with it this evening.
Well, that someone is not me!
-I don't mind. -Steady on, James.
Don't forget, we have that meeting in Broughton tonight.
-Oh, it's tonight, is it? -Yeah, afraid so.
We have old Reeves is giving his star turn on sheep diseases.
-Can't miss that. -No.
Come off it, Siegfried.
You've heard Reeves' lecture dozens of times!
And it's amazing, isn't it?
Doesn't matter how often you hear the lecture,
there's always something new to be discovered in it. Thank you, Mrs Hall.
-Pity you can't come with us, Tristan. -What do you mean?
Someone's got to stay with the dog.
MRS HALL: And someone's got to eat that dinner.
I absolutely, categorically refuse!
Stop behaving like a prima donna and sit down.
-I said sit down. -(DOG CONTINUES WHINING)
It'll only be for a few hours, Tris.
Go on, you go to your meeting.
Who wants to listen to that old bore Reeves anyway? I certainly don't.
JAMES: Aren't you worried about the effect that dog is having on Tristan?
SIEGFRIED: It's all show, James.
JAMES: Broughton's the other way, Siegfried.
SIEGFRIED: I'm fully aware of how to get to Broughton, James!
That little beggar's just trying to worm his way out of an unpleasant chore.
JAMES: He's had quite a day of it, you know.
SIEGFRIED: So what?
It'll teach him that our job is not all romance.
(CAR HORN TOOTS)
Do him no end of good, you'll see.
(WHINES)
(TRISTAN SINGING DRUNKENLY) ♩ You're like a plaintive melody
♩ That never lets me free
♩ I'm content... ♩
-Tristan! -(STOPS SINGING)
Ah, it is Siegfried,
Siegfried, the wanderer, Siegfried, the hero!
(DOG CONTINUES WHINING)
(VOCALISES FLIGHT OF THE VALKYRIES)
Watch it, Tristan! Watch it!
-Sorry. -(LAUGHING)
(BOTTLES CLINK)
You all right, Tris? Come on!
James, what are you doing up there when I'm down here?
Of all the irresponsible, callow, little...
What an infernal mess!
Three cheers for Siegfried! Hip-hip hooray!
Oh, shut up, will you!
James, you'd better get him to bed.
-I'll deal with him in the morning. -What about the dog?
Decent sort of a dog, that, when he's got his senses about him, I should think.
It can't stay here alone all night.
I suppose he'll have to spend the night in my room.
Come on, Tristan, for heaven's sake. Come on.
-Ah, Siegfried... -(YELLS IN SURPRISE)
Come on, Tristan!
-Oh, but James, I must... -Come on!
(DOG'S CONTINUES WHINING )
Ah, James!
A wonderful morning, is it not?
-How're you feeling? -Marvellous! Marvellous!
Tell me, how did the meeting go?
Fine.
You seem to have recovered from last night's little do.
Oh, what's an ale or two to a healthy young fellow like me? (CHUCKLES)
Seen Siegfried?
He was away at the crack of dawn.
He seemed rather in a hurry to get that dog back to its owners.
It came too late in the night, it seems.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) (DOOR SLAMS)
-I do believe he's returned. -Mmm.
Back already?
Have you cleared up that mess you made last night?
Don't I always?
You look rough, Siegfried.
Not a wink of sleep last night.
Hmm, I slept like a log, myself.
Call that drunken stupor sleep?
Me, drunk?
You can't even do a simple little job without turning it into an orgy.
I warn you,
one more escapade like that and you're out, sacked!
There's a lady for you, Mr Farnon,
Calls herself Miss Harbottle.
Ah, yes, Mrs Hall, show her in! Show her in!
Now, you two, you're about to meet our new secretary.
-Miss Harbottle, good morning! -Mr Farnon.
Welcome to Skeldale House. This way, this way!
Gentlemen, Miss Harbottle!
My assistant, James Herriot.
-Miss Harbottle! -Mr Herriot.
My brother, Tristan, the youngest member of the firm.
Delighted, Miss Harbottle.
Now, Miss Harbottle, where would you like to start your inspection?
The heart of any business enterprise, Mr Farnon, is surely the office.
There you have it.
You call this the office?
Well, the nerve centre, you might say, of our operations, yes.
-I see. -(SIEGFRIED CLEARS THROAT)
And what may I ask, is this?
That is our ledger.
And we enter all our visits into this from the day book.
May I see that also, please?
The day book, yes, of course.
Sorry.
Ah! Here it is.
The day book.
(CLEARS THROAT) There you are.
You gentlemen are going to have to learn to write,
if I'm to look after your books.
Yes, I've had the occasion to talk to them about that before, Miss Harbottle.
There are three different hands here, but this is by far, the worst.
Dreadful. Whose is it?
That one?
That... That is mine.
I must have been in a hurry that day.
All your entries are the same, Mr Farnon.
Here. Here.
-It won't do, you know. -(STIFLING LAUGHTER)
I expect this is where you keep the stationery.
Er... No, no, no.
-James. -Yes.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
(BOTTLES CLINK)
May I ask where you keep your cash box?
Ah, yes! Across the hall. This way, Miss Harbottle.
-I don't believe it! -(WHISPERS) Come on, come on!
We don't have exactly what you'd, er,
call a cash box.
We just, er, stuff it all into this.
You leave that money there day after day?
Never seems to have come to any harm, you know.
Most irregular, Mr Farnon.
I trust the petty cash does not suffer the same cavalier treatment.
Petty cash?
You do have a petty cash box, don't you?
It's all in this jug, Miss Harbottle, petty or otherwise.
Really? I don't know how you've managed to stay in business so long.
Exactly! It's a question I frequently ask myself,
but you are going to put us on the straight and narrow path, aren't you?
It'll mean a change in your working methods.
Change, exactly! It's what we need.
When can you start?
In my opinion, Mr Farnon, the sooner the better.
-Tomorrow? -As you wish.
Excellent!
Tomorrow, then. 9:00 sharp.
-Good day, gentlemen. -I'll see you out.
♩ And I were the only... ♩
Wednesday... Sitting room, Wednesday.
Mrs Hall, isn't it?
Please be careful not to touch anything on the desk or in the drawers.
-Otherwise, you may dust where you please. -(TELEPHONE RINGS)
Thank you, Mrs Hall.
Mr Farnon's secretary speaking.
Twenty-four hours, James, that's all it's taken,
and the whole practice is humming like a dynamo.
It's very impressive.
There we go.
Call for you, Mr Herriot. Mrs Pumphrey.
-Sounds most upset. -Thank you, Miss Harbottle.
Do be brief, Mr Herriot!
We must remember that most of our business comes via the telephone, mustn't we?
Yes, Miss Harbottle.
Off you rush, James. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, Uncle Herriot, thank heavens I found you in.
It's Tricki, he's desperately ill.
And it's not flop-bot again.
Not at all like the time he went cracker-dog.
No, he's worse, much worse.
Can you describe the symptoms, please?
Is he vomiting?
Yes, all the time.
And his poor lungs, they're pumping away like bellows.
Right. I'll get up there as quickly as I can.
Oh, you are kind. Thank you, Mr Herriot.
Tricki, darling, Uncle Herriot's on his way to see you.
Aw! He's just tried to wag his tail.
Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
It's Tricki-Woo.
Ring Uncle Herriot up for a little chat, did he?
Mrs Pumphrey did! She's in a terrible state.
What's wrong?
Sounds as if she's been overfeeding him again.
I take it you've warned her about his diet?
Yes, frequently. It doesn't make a blind bit of a difference.
And I'm not treating him while he's in that house with her.
She'd spoil him to death.
Know what, James?
You should bring Tricki every year. Let him muck in with our dogs.
Do him the world of good, you know,
spend a bit of time with his own kind for a change.
That's a brilliant idea, Siegfried.
It might just give her the jolt she needs.
The point is, will she let him go?
-Take darling Tricki away? -I'm afraid so, Mrs Pumphrey.
Oh, dear, no!
Desperate situations call for desperate measures, you know.
But we've never been separated, not ever!
Mrs Pumphrey, he is very ill, you know.
He needs to be somewhere where he can have proper, full-time care and attention.
Oh, it's all too ghastly.
Delay could be fatal, Mrs Pumphrey.
Oh, no!
-Oh, my poor... -Try not let him see that you're upset.
(WHISPERS) Of course. Of course.
Tricki, darling,
Uncle Herriot wants you to stay with him for a little while.
Now, you'll be a good boy, won't you?
Do everything that Uncle tells you.
Mummy will miss you. But you'll soon...
It won't be for very long, Tricki.
There.
Stay with Uncle while I get your things.
I'll get him settled in the car, Mrs Pumphrey.
(SOBS) Oh, dear.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Poorly, is he?
The dog, I mean.
Yes, Mr Hodgekin.
Reckon he's had his chips, do you?
That's a very sick dog, Mr Hodgekin.
(PANTING)
Aye...
How long do you reckon he's got then?
About a week.
Aye...
After that, he'll be as right as rain. You can have him back again.
Isn't that good news?
(RAKE CLANGS)
Is the poor darling all right?
He's not missing me, is he?
He's being a very brave boy, Mrs Pumphrey.
Of course he is.
Now, you got all his things, his day bed, his night bed,
special cushions, breakfast, lunch and supper things.
And his favourite shawl.
We have all we need at the surgery, Mrs Pumphrey.
Not take Tricki's things?
-You couldn't be so cruel! -No!
-Of course he may have them. -Thank you.
Oh, Francois, have you brought his hot and cold jacket?
Of course, Madam.
And his little rings?
Yes, Madam. Everything is in Mr Herriot's car.
Thank you, Francois.
Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
Goodbye, Mr Herriot.
(SOBS) Oh, dear, it's all too ghastly for words.
(MUTTERS)
(TYPEWRITER CLATTERS)
-Evening, Miss Harbottle. -(MISS HARBOTTLE CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, Miss Harbottle.
Mr Farnon, for some days now,
I have endeavoured to get you to spend a little of your time on this paperwork.
Yes, I'm sorry about that.
It's most un-businesslike, Mr Farnon.
Scores of queries here need your attention.
Could you please go over them with me, now.
Awfully sorry, but I'm afraid I'm late for surgery.
The moment I get a chance, I'll deal with them. Anything else?
As a matter of fact, there is.
Fine, fine. I'll deal with that at the same time.
-Chrissy, come on, Chrissy! -(BARKING)
Here you are, chaps, this is Tricki-Woo.
This is Tricki-Woo.
And this one. I know what you're thinking but he is a dog. Aren't you?
James!
Mrs Pumphrey again.
Want me to tell her you're out?
No. No, she's been very good today.
Only three calls so far.
Thank you.
Hello, Mrs Pumphrey.
Yes, Tricki is much improved today.
Yes, he slept very well last night.
Of course he asked after you.
No, Uncle Herriot has no complaints.
Yes, yes, Tricki is being a very good boy.
Of course, the worst is over now, Mrs Pumphrey.
He just needs a little time to convalesce, that's all.
Oh. Yes, I'll let you know the moment I think he can go home.
Thank you, Mrs Pumphrey.
Yes, I'll tell him Mummy said that.
Yes... Yes, yes, I'll tell him.
Of course Uncle Herriot will tuck him in.
Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
Uncle Herriot certainly has the bedside manner off pat, hasn't he?
Uncle Herriot will do you an injury if you don't shut up.
-Wicked Uncle Herriot! -(SCOFFS)
(MOUTHS INAUDIBLY) (TYPEWRITER CLATTERS)
I'll just close it, Miss Harbottle.
(WHISPERS) I haven't got time to see her just now.
James, I'll be late back this evening.
Would you mind taking on the emergency calls tonight?
-No, I don't mind. -Shh!
And you've no idea what time I'll be back, understand?
I thought I heard voices out here, Mr Herriot.
Ah. That was probably me on the telephone, Miss Harbottle.
Morning, Siegfried.
Morning.
Ah, good morning, James!
(JAMES YAWNS LOUDLY)
Anything wrong, James?
Looks rather peaky, doesn't he, Siegfried?
So would you be, if you'd been through what I did last night.
Oh, I thought you'd be called out last night. Parson's cow, was it?
Yeah. Got herself stuck in a cesspit.
Then of course, she had to go into labour, didn't she?
I've been up to my neck in freezing muck all night!
Ah, yes. I see it all.
"Dedicated young vet fighting against the odds,
"fearlessly slogging through hail, rain and muck."
Oh! Shut up!
(DOOR SLAMS)
Staff's arrived.
Speaking of Miss Harbottle,
she's been trying to see the senior member of the firm for days.
(MISS HARBOTTLE SCREAMS)
See what she wants, would you?
Something wrong, Miss Harbottle?
He's been at it again!
At what, Miss Harbottle?
Mr Farnon! I know it's you out there!
It's absurd the way that man always tries to slink past the door.
Good morning, Miss Harbottle. Anything I can do for you?
There is indeed, Mr Farnon.
You can explain why you've once more emptied my petty cash box!
I am sorry about that, Miss Harbottle.
I had to, um, rush through deportment last night to see Mother.
I usually take a little gift and I suddenly found myself short of ready cash.
Really?
Yes, I got into the habit in the old jug days.
And as they say, old habits die hard.
Not to say bad habits.
Possibly. Wasn't such a bad system.
-System? It was anarchy! -(CASH BOX LID SLAMS)
Point is, Mr Farnon.
How am I to account for the money in my charge when you keep on stealing it?
Stealing?
That's rather an odd word to choose, isn't it?
You don't seem to realise, Mr Farnon,
-that money is not yours. -Oh.
It is the firm's.
The firm's assets, Mr Farnon!
Well, never mind, Miss Harbottle.
Simply go to the bank and draw out enough to cover the loss.
All right? Good.
(MISS HARBOTTLE CLEARS THROAT)
There are several other little matters while you're here.
Ah, yes, but I have a long list of calls waiting for me.
(MISS HARBOTTLE CLEARS THROAT)
These medical terms you use...
Would you oblige me by writing them legibly and not please scribble?
-Grub up! -(DOGS BARKING)
Come on, everybody! (WHISTLES)
-Come on! -(DOG WHINES)
Stick to your own bowl.
My word, James, he does look fit.
He's been squashed and trampled by our lot, nipped by rats in the barn.
He's having the time of his life.
How's Mrs Pumphrey managing without him?
Oh, she rings on average about six times a day.
Uh-huh.
You can't stall her much longer, you know.
Well, I'll give Tricki a few days more and then we'll see.
(DOOR SLAMS)
-Hello. -James.
Something's arrived for you, special delivery.
Oh.
TRISTAN: It's from Fortnum and Mason's. There's a card with it.
Oh! From Mrs Pumphrey.
Aren't you going to read it out?
No, I told you. It's from Mrs Pumphrey!
Oh, James, really!
"To darling Tricki-Woo and Uncle Herriot, with love."
BOTH: "Mummy's two favourite boys."
Ahh.
Eighty-year-old brandy.
SIEGFRIED: I say, James, you've struck gold this time.
Yes. There are three of those. Tristan...
-Port. -SIEGFRIED: Careful! Careful! Careful!
Treat it gently.
Graham's, 1920.
All the more reason to treat it with excellent care.
Three of those, too.
Quail's eggs.
Honey.
Caviar, beluga.
-James... -Truffles in aspic.
-When are you taking Tricki back? -Oh, I don't know.
Sometime after tomorrow night's surgery, I suspect.
It seems almost a pity, doesn't it?
Yes.
Ah.
I think it appropriate that Uncle Herriot proposes a toast.
-Seconded. -Um...
To Tricki-Woo!
May his blood forever need enriching.
-ALL: Tricki-Woo! -God bless him.
Mr Herriot, Madam.
Oh!
(PIANO PLAYING)
ALL: ♩ For he's a jolly good fellow
♩ For he's a jolly good fellow
♩ And so say all of us ♩
-Hip-hip... -ALL: Hooray!
Tricki, darling, you're home.
Oh, Mr Herriot, how can I ever thank you?
This is a triumph of surgery!
(GUESTS CLAMOUR IN AGREEMENT)
Francois!
There you are, my darling, your special cushion.
-And champagne for Mr Herriot. -Madam.
Congratulations, young fellow!
Splendid achievement! Really splendid!
Thank you. Thank you, very much.
-(GUESTS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -Ah! Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Francois, the big glass.
Mrs Pumphrey, it's very naughty of you not to have warned me.
Well, you might have let Tricki know.
That wouldn't have done at all now, would it?
(LAUGHS)
-Ah! There you are. Now, drink up, Mr Herriot. -Thank you.
-Francois. -Madam?
Keep your eye on Mr Herriot.
See that his glass is always full
and that he has plenty to eat.
Certainly, Madam.
My most grateful thanks to you, Mr Herriot.
Your very good health, Mrs Pumphrey.
-Oh, and to Tricki. -ALL: Tricki!
Mrs Pumphrey, what's that man doing?
Oh, dear, not now. Please forgive me. It's just...
Tricki's special welcome home treat.
Take away half the meat and all the cake, then I'll forgive you.
Of course. Of course, I will.
Now, my darling, Uncle Herriot says he doesn't want...
Let us take that one. Let him some of...
Ah. Thank you, Francois.
Mr Herriot!
Are you in there, Mr Herriot?
JAMES: Yes, Mrs Hall.
Mr Dixon, Top End Farm.
He's got a foal that's poorly.
Caught itself on a nail on the table or something.
I'm half dead, Mrs Hall. Isn't Mr Farnon in?
Well, he's out visiting his mother tonight.
Oh, is he?
Well, you'd better hurry, Mr Herriot.
Mr Dixon says that colt's bleeding badly.
All right, I'm going, Mrs Hall.
You're never going like that!
Oh, yes, I am, Mrs Hall.
What, dressed naked, with no proper clothes on?
You said it was urgent, didn't you.
(SIGHS) You know best what you're doing, Mr Herriot.
Good night.
-What's good about it, Mrs Hall? -(GROANS)
He's here.
About time.
What kept you?
I came as quickly as I could, Mr Dixon. How is she?
She's lost a lot of blood.
I reckon her neck vein's ruptured.
That's a nasty cut.
What happened?
First time she's been away from her mother.
I reckon she went crazy, banging and crashing around the barn.
Woke up the house, she did.
Anyway, she got herself caught out on the nail on the wall there.
Well, the first thing to do is get that bleeding stopped.
-Have you got any water handy? -Aye. It's cold.
-Straight from the well. -That's fine.
Reckon you can stop the bleeding?
Yes. I'll ligate the artery and then stitch her up.
She's not lost too much blood, has she?
No, she's a good strong animal.
I reckon she'll pull through.
God help us, what's this?
Fol-de-rols, is it?
It's my night attire, Mr Dixon.
Saw a fellow like you last year, at Bradford Alhambra, it were.
Same suit, exactly, with a striped hat and a cane.
(CHUCKLES) He did a champion little dance, he did.
-Allow me. -Thank you.
It's not often I get the chance to help
an artist with his costume.
I suppose every farmer in the Dales is going to hear about this little episode.
Well, it's not every day we get a Kentucky minstrel to help tend stock, is it?
-I'm not here to entertain, you know. -It's all right, lad.
Seeing your top down like that brought it fresh to mind, that's all.
It's all part of the service, Mr Dixon.
(JAMES WHISTLING A TUNE)
Good morning, Helen.
Hope you don't mind me calling so early.
Morning, James. No, of course not.
Just, I didn't expect to see you for another three days.
Well, I was just passing. I thought I'd look in to see how it is.
See how what is, James?
-Well, the calf. -Oh, the calf!
It's fine. Plaster's just about ready to come off, I think.
Perhaps I'd better take a look at it, just in case.
Well, if you insist.
But Father's moved it to one of the Olds Dale barns about four miles from here.
Are you sure, you want to take the trouble?
I don't mind if you don't.
Well, it's awfully inconvenient just now,
and right in the middle of family breakfast.
Oh.
Would you like to come in?
No, I don't think so.
Not really dressed for the occasion!
Look, Helen, I'll leave it for now
and come as arranged on Friday.
-How about that? -If you like.
Sorry to have butted in so early in the morning.
It is rather.
And you are welcome to stay.
No, no. I'll, um, see you on Friday.
Goodbye, James.
Bye, Helen!
(SIGHS)
Yes, it's amazing what you hear on your rounds these days.
Oh, what's that?
Well, the whole county's buzzing with rumours.
Something about a vagrant minstrel masquerading as a vet.
Some of the folk even think he was an escaped convict.
Heard anything about it, Tristan?
Not you, too?
Mr Farnon, I really must protest!
Ah, Miss Harbottle, I was just on my way to see you.
-I have asked you repeatedly... -Yes.
Just one or two little points I wanted to discuss.
First of all, your petty cash box.
Now, it's a very nice little box as boxes go,
but the function of a cash box surely is to have cash in.
-Would you agree? -Precisely!
Quite! Well, last evening, I had a paying customer, two in fact.
They wanted to pay cash and I had no change.
And your box was quite empty.
It doesn't look good.
You removed the entire contents!
Please hear me out, Miss Harbottle.
It is now the 10th of the month.
And the accounts have still not gone out.
Now, that is a very undesirable state of affairs.
You have persistently refused to check them with me!
I've almost finished, Miss Harbottle.
Believe me, it hurts me to have to speak to you like this
for I am in general most pleased with your progress since you joined us.
But if you just tighten up on these one or two little points that I mention,
then I'm sure we shall have here a thoroughly efficient business.
Remember, Miss Harbottle, efficiency.
That's what we need to have here. Efficiency.
-(GASPS) -You agree.
Thank you, Miss Harbottle. That is all.
(SNORTS)
-Pass the cheese, please, James. -Mmm.
Thank you.
-Biscuit, Siegfried? -Good of you, Tristan.
(DOOR SLAMS)
Staff seems to have gone to lunch.